One of my favorite movies of all time is You've Got Mail, starring Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks. In the film, Meg Ryan plays a children's book store owner named Kathleen Kelly. She is one of the sweetest and most relatable characters ever written. In the midst of her conflict, she writes this:
"Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life - well, valuable, but small - and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around? I don't really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So goodnight, dear void."
Oftentimes, I have Kathleen Kelly moments such as this. I too lead a small, yet valuable life, and wonder if I had been "brave" would things be much different? Like her I don't really want an answer, so I choose to focus on who I am now.
I feel like I have finally reached a point where I really know who I am. As most women can attest to, we often struggle with identity and who/ what it is we want to become. For me, I have always found myself so interested in so many things at once that I could never decide what to focus all of my attention and efforts on. Some days I'm the health crazed girl buying up all the organic produce at farmers markets before I hit up my 1.5 hour yoga class. Sometimes I want to spend my day in the kitchen learning the art of French cooking, and then lay on my sofa all afternoon reading Pride and Prejudice. Somedays I'm the blogger who's busy collaborating with other creatives and "Pinterest-ing" up ideas for my next blog post.
Before this discovery of who I really am, I would think that I was only allowed to pick one of these interests and stick with it. I am so happy I finally came to the realization that I don't have to pick. Each of these interests, desires, and talents make up who I am. They are innate characteristics of my being, and I can be all of them at once. I believe that God created me this way so that I can learn, grow and develop these interests which are an essential part of me.
I no longer see my life as Kathleen did when she said it reminded her of something she read in in a book. I am writing my own book and making my own adventures. Living in the now is one of the surest ways to finding our own happiness. So lets forget if we haven't been brave in the past, and stop worrying if our futures will fulfill our expectations. Live in this moment, drink it in and savor it, because tomorrow it will all just be a memory - so make it a fond one.